Boh Tong's Japan visa renewed?>>here

Tantanmen,futomaki dinner

Friday, 15 January 2010

Pilot dumped pregnant stewardess

Below is an email from a reader of my blog pertaining to the above story. There is no way I could verify whether the story is true or not. If the story is true can someone please advise or help the ex-stewardess?

BTW I had permission from the sender of the email to post the story here.

Dear Uncle Boh Tong,

You do have an interesting website and a good insight into SIA crew stories! I stumbled across your website by accident. It is fun to read through and know some of these scandals indeed do exist. I guess the crew members are still human after all!

I actually was hoping to seek your advice or share a story with you. I have a friend who up to recently was a cabin crew of SIA. She met this guy, who was the pilot on her destination route.

I supposed she kind of liked him and they were attached, which of course was a good thing! Some months back, they had an 'accident' and my friend was pregnant. He insisted for her to keep the baby and said he wanted to start a family with him. She was all happy and ready to commit into this new chapter of her life. Not long ago, this guy has decided that he is no longer interested in this relationship and wish to ditch her AND THE BABY altogether! How inhuman could he be? He did not picked up my friend's call and even had his mobile service disconnected (so my friend could not contact him).

Since then, she has tried waiting for him at the Changi airport - to let him know how he has destroyed her life. So she finally manage to meet him one fine day, and guess what - he rushed to his car drove off and knock this pregnant woman down on the way! I can't believe this happened. As a friend, I am very concerned about my friend's welfare. She had not eaten much, her mental state is in disarray, she has attempted suicide (I saw the cut on her wrist) and has mentioned many times when I met up with her that the best she could do now is to leave this world with the baby.

I am at lost at what my friend could do and I aware that there is probably not much you could do too! I am just trying avenues I can find to help my friend and so happen I stumbled upon your blog. I did spend almost an hour reading those interesting articles though! lol. Is there anyway my friend can lodge a complain or to instigate an investigation of this pilot for his improper conduct? I guess it will hard too, seeing that this are personal circumstances?

Do hope to hear from you. Thanks.



BT: I have just got another email (below)from the same sender minutes after I have posted the above.

By the way Uncle Boh Tong, the reason why my friend now is thinking of committing suicide is not because she is still deeply madly in love with this man! She has long gotten over him and in fact hopes karma comes back to bite! She has been advised by most if not all to abort the baby for obvious reasons - but she does not have the heart to do so after being pregnant for so many months. She did tell me that if she were to abort the baby, wouldn't that just make her the same as the father i.e. abandoning the baby as he/she sees fit? That is why she keeps telling herself that the least she could do is to let the baby know that the mum is committed to the baby and is willing to leave this world together...



wingc7 said...

I believe it must be a very hard time for you as a friend to see her struggles and her self harm behaviors.

I had been working in a mental health settings for quite sometime and from what you have shared, she seemed to be having depression.Moreover, her suicidal risk seems very high as she has already expressed suicide ideation and formulated a plan for suicide.

Hence, I would strongly recommend you to:
1) bring her to see a doctor for some medication to help to uplift
her mood.If she refuses, find a reason to bring her to the doctor and you assist to tell the doctor about her depressions symptoms. I will talk about the symptoms of depressiion later.

2) If she turned suicidal or violent, you may call the police to bring her into IMH for treatment.

3) Continue to support her as a friend and involve her family in caring for her.

Grief and loss will take some time to heal and complicated grief in this case will take even longer. Hence, with strong social support and treatment, recovery would have a higher chance of success.

The two most significant symptoms of depression are:

1) Sadness or hopelessness.
2) Loss of interest in or pleasure from most daily activities.

Other symptoms include:

1) Losing or gaining weight because of changes in appetite.
2) Sleeping too much or not enough.
3) Feeling restless and unable to sit still, or feeling that moving takes a great effort.
4) Feeling tired all the time.
5) Feeling unworthy or guilty without an obvious reason.
6) Having problems concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.
7) Thinking often about death or suicide.

Really hope this can help and that she can get proper treatment as soon as possible.

boh tong said...

Thank u for ur professional advice which I hope will be taken seriously.Thank u for for ur concern too. I knew someone will be kind enough to assist the victim.

Cruel Yet True said...

Kind words will not help the victim.
Since the beginning of mankind, women have being attracted by men of various reasons and of the more obvious ones; her stability future.
For this gal, even though I sympathize her situation, I have to say with a cold heart-She deserve it.
I know I will get very negative remarks on my above comment but come on I am just telling the truth.
Why is she not pregnant by an odd job worker instead of a pilot? It's nothing against the pilot. She hope that this pilot will provide her a stable future. As we know pilot eventually, when he reached a captain rank, his monthly income is more than $12k that equates to lots of money and stability.
She has not wake up her idea. Wants to keep her baby? Hope karma come for him etc...
How to help a gal like that? For the friend who posted this, I adore your helpfulness as a friend. What can you do? Provide her with financial aid every month? Quit your job to look after her baby so that hopefully the mother will look for a job? She is going to live on her saving till she is desperate?
Situation like this, I don't think with my heart but my head unlike you & your friend-with HEART. We are just different.
Lastly, I have seen/met/heard more than enough to know that this is not the 1st and won't be the last story of it's kind.

That's shallow said...

it is amazing how shallow some could be, making an assumption that the stewardess comes from a poor family background and is with the pilot for the money. Please wake up Cruel Yet True, 12k a month is nothing by Singapore standards! Just those on the business (not even first) will probably spend 12k for a night's of entertainment. i hope you realise that in this world there are still (albeit not many) people in it for love and not just the money.

Anonymous said...

What is done is done!

No point crying over spilled milk.

It's a hard lesson to learn.

Yes it's a painful one.

Depression sets in.

We all learn from our mistakes.

We all learn through experiences.

I perceive that girl must be young and naive not knowing the consequences!

As we mature we gain a wealth of experiences.

She should seek medical help immediately.

Life is never a Bed of Roses.


boh tong said...

"Cruel yet true" and "That's shallow" pls dun pass such uncalled for comments. The gal needs help and we should try to help. Unkind words and lecture will make the situation worse. How would u feel if that gal commit suicide after this posting? "Karma's" comment is more constructive and we need ppl like "Wingc7" to come here and give proper and professional advice.

Cruel Yet True said...

ok lets send her to counselling. set up a fund for her counselling, her new born baby etc. The who "That's shallow" why not u start 1st by donating? Talk is cheap.

LOVE? Sure, that's what man wants woman to believe then get them to bed. Try tell a woman just for a one night stand then dump her, which "normal" who wants a family will do it.

You might be deeply & happily in Love, but not every 1 is like you. You want to be naive & think that the world is full of roses, let it just be you. I am just speaking as a precautionary point of view.

Anonymous said...

She should seek advise from a lawyer, to see how the father can be made responsible for the upkeep and costs of his child. I believe he should account for some resonsibility for his indiscretion.

Anonymous said...

If he refused responsibility a DNA test can show who the father is.

Anonymous said...

Can we have comment from the sender of the email or the girls?

Anonymous said...

Think u guys watch too many American movies. Engage a lawyer? DNA test? The gal just want to put things behind. U want her to get a lawyer, go to court, fight it out n pay tons & tons of $$$ to the lawyer before the court settle the compensation?
Might as well advice her to file rape then black mail the pilot.
BTW, DNA on the pilot? It can only be done if he does it willingly. No court can order him to do it.

Anonymous said...

If the finger is pointed at him the court can order a DNA test to prove his innocence or guilt. But first the pilot must be charged.

Anonymous said...

I would have loved for my friend to seek professional advice, if only she agrees to. Wingc7, thanks for your comments and some of what you said were spot on - she wonders off sometimes in conversation.

I personally do not live in Singapore and is limited to what I can do overseas. Up until yesterday, she has yet to reply my sms and I could no get through to her - which is worrying.

I think the most important thing now is her welfare. At the very least, I know one or two of her family members know of this and is providing support.

I really hope she is doing fine, this very moment.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous said...
"If the finger is pointed at him the court can order a DNA test to prove his innocence or guilt. But first the pilot must be charged."

May I know on what ground is the pilot going to be charged for?

Anonymous said...

If the pilot refused to give child support then he would have to go for a DNA test.
Check this here

Anonymous said...

What a pity. When CC do the dirty joke, report the CC. When Pilots touched and joke, form a relationship. Welcome to the new CC.

Anonymous said...

Ask any student from NUS, NTU, SMU, UniSim or reputable institute about quotation & citation when doing their research and assignment. They will tell you that the school does not recognize Wikipedia.
Answer from WikiAnswers?
Besides it's a US base web site meaning US law, this is Singapore. Now you want the poor FSS to take the pilot to US court to fight her case.
No wonder, CC is deem to be idiot because of people like you. For the rest of the CC, I don't mean to offend you guys, it's people like him/her to make CC to so small to the world especially the CC mgt.

Anonymous said...

Just for your information, not only CC visit and comment in this blog. Please don't assume that any comments made here are from a CC.

Anonymous said...

It does seem that pilots do not enjoy a very good reputation. Heard a story about this retired senior captain. This Gui (ghost) pilot specialises in spiking drinks of his victims over dinner before carrying out his sexual assaults, often leaving his victims wondering if she was a willing party.......