* All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
* Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
* You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
* Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
* The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
* When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
* The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
* You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."
* No movie. Don’t need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
* You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.
* All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.